So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
