I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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