My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
