just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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