i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
