your thong is hanging out like whoa
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
