When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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