I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
