dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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