Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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