ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i already hear my dad disowning me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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