no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
