so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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