Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
