so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
