Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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