I like my sex mixed with concussions.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
