accomplished twins. life is a go
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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