butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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