with your own penis?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm always down for nudity.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
