I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
3pm strippers are depressing
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
