he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
