it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
