walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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