I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
