Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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