Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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