Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
