a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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