It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
