Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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