very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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