i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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