Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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