the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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