Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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