so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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