Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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