I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
