Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
