I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't put those talents on a resume
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My bed smells like the plague
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