TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
