He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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