Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
