we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
