I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
