He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
