Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
