was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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