Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
