I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize