Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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