Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
