What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
