just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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