Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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