If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is my gift to your gina
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
