I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
