I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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