i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
