My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
