sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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